Jennie, thank you. I think this is possibly one of your pieces of writing that has most spoken directly to my soul, and that’s saying something. It’s like you read my thoughts and then verbalise them in a way I could never. The only thing about you (and I both) not being on social media as much is how sad it is we can’t connect as much. X
I can relate to so much of this, Jennie. Especially your perspective on sharing milestones and moments because I’m so torn between holding onto them all myself, knowing how precious they are, and over sharing our joy.
Only, as you’ve pointed out, it’s not all joy. And there’s the pressure of needing to be “okay” now. But I think about Harris just as much as I ever did now we have Lowen. I’ve always said it never gets easier, it gets different.
I feel guilty when I get sad, feel I need to justify it, express my extreme gratitude. Because I am so, so happy to have Lowen. And to have Cora. But I still lost Harris between them.
Thank you for giving voice to the things I sometimes find hard to say 💛
Hi Jennie, I always love your essays, this one was also very close to my heart and experiences. I never even announced the births of my rainbows on social media. When my first was born, I didn't want to post without opening up about how we got there, as I've just been so super appreciative of other women sharing their birth announcement with a full account of difficult journeys of infertility & loss. However, I also wasn't ready to write my story up and share so openly, so I ended up not posting at all.
Similarly, we have a yearly 'introduce yourself in one slide' meeting at our department, given that so many people come and go all the time, it's difficult to know everyone. I've now twice had to figure out what to share - it's the kind of meeting my old self would have struggled with, given that essentially everyone shows images of their kids if they have them, usually with comments that have that casualness to them, that usually is reserved for fertile people, the kind that complains a bit about how much time and sleep they take up. Same as you, I still want to protect that old self, and I've not managed to share a kids picture yet...
Jennie, thank you. I think this is possibly one of your pieces of writing that has most spoken directly to my soul, and that’s saying something. It’s like you read my thoughts and then verbalise them in a way I could never. The only thing about you (and I both) not being on social media as much is how sad it is we can’t connect as much. X
I can relate to so much of this, Jennie. Especially your perspective on sharing milestones and moments because I’m so torn between holding onto them all myself, knowing how precious they are, and over sharing our joy.
Only, as you’ve pointed out, it’s not all joy. And there’s the pressure of needing to be “okay” now. But I think about Harris just as much as I ever did now we have Lowen. I’ve always said it never gets easier, it gets different.
I feel guilty when I get sad, feel I need to justify it, express my extreme gratitude. Because I am so, so happy to have Lowen. And to have Cora. But I still lost Harris between them.
Thank you for giving voice to the things I sometimes find hard to say 💛
Hi Jennie, I always love your essays, this one was also very close to my heart and experiences. I never even announced the births of my rainbows on social media. When my first was born, I didn't want to post without opening up about how we got there, as I've just been so super appreciative of other women sharing their birth announcement with a full account of difficult journeys of infertility & loss. However, I also wasn't ready to write my story up and share so openly, so I ended up not posting at all.
Similarly, we have a yearly 'introduce yourself in one slide' meeting at our department, given that so many people come and go all the time, it's difficult to know everyone. I've now twice had to figure out what to share - it's the kind of meeting my old self would have struggled with, given that essentially everyone shows images of their kids if they have them, usually with comments that have that casualness to them, that usually is reserved for fertile people, the kind that complains a bit about how much time and sleep they take up. Same as you, I still want to protect that old self, and I've not managed to share a kids picture yet...
I so appreciate your writing Jennie 🌈🙏🏻💛