I spent so many years TTC, and I can definitely say this idea of optimizing everything I ate and drank for that length of time would’ve made me even more miserable. I don’t think we should be making an already hard time even harder without having any clue how long it could take to get to that conception point. Generally taking care of ourselves is obviously a good thing to do, but not to this extreme level suggested by influencers!
Oh gosh, so much here. The issue is - if you then have fertility issues you don’t know how long you’ll be living in the trimester zero. It could be years, as was the case for me. And then it cranks up a notch because you’re really REALLY trying to optimise everything. It was bleak!
Worse than that, there are women posting about all the things they’re doing *for* their husbands as part of it. I.e taking responsibility for that as well. Truly, utterly exhausting! Xx
Thank you for linking to my newsletter and ugh I feel the horror of trimester zero. I spent years in varying degrees of no booze, no nail varnish, no food in plastic, pre-pregnancy vitamins imported from America and more total madness that I, a rational, science-believing person, was prepared to do because I thought it would help. It’s only years on and with hindsight that I understand that none of it would have made a difference. It’s why, however apparently well intentioned, I rail against what I consider the massive grift of products - supplements, diets, exercise, advice, whatever - that promise to get your body in the optimum state for pregnancy. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Thanks for shining a light on this. X
I’m SO pleased that you do rail against the grift of it all. I couldn’t agree more. I feel a bit half-in half-out with ttc lifestyle stuff right now and your pregnancy skincare post was genuinely eye-opening - and reassuring. Xxxx
I don’t follow tiktok so when I first read the phrase I had rather a positive response, it seemed like a way for the difficulty of experiencing negative test after test to have a face if you will, the loss of a pregnancy in the zeroth trimester, rather than just the lack of a pregnancy.
Then I read your explanation of how it’s used and it’s of course awful, as if women need more guilt tripping when it comes to fertility and miscarriage…still now the phrase is out there, maybe it help people open up about what trimester zero is really like…so im going to remain hopeful it will be a positive in the long run…
Same here - I tend to read about TikTok trends via newspapers, which makes me feel ancient! I hadn’t thought of that as an alternative use of the phrase, but I completely get you. We don’t really have good words for that phase and I agree it’s its own kind of loss. And truly it can be such a lonely thing to go through.
And yeah, maybe it will be positive in the long run - I did find the openness around pregnancy prep from some posters quite refreshing. I don’t know that there was any equivalent when I was first ttc. Xx
I spent so many years TTC, and I can definitely say this idea of optimizing everything I ate and drank for that length of time would’ve made me even more miserable. I don’t think we should be making an already hard time even harder without having any clue how long it could take to get to that conception point. Generally taking care of ourselves is obviously a good thing to do, but not to this extreme level suggested by influencers!
Well said! Xx
Oh gosh, so much here. The issue is - if you then have fertility issues you don’t know how long you’ll be living in the trimester zero. It could be years, as was the case for me. And then it cranks up a notch because you’re really REALLY trying to optimise everything. It was bleak!
Bleak is such a good word for it! And this is such a good point - so much so I referenced it in this week’s newsletter! Xx
I love the way it’s always aimed at the woman to make sure she’s at peak health like men have no input whatsoever.
I think this would have left me exhausted.
Worse than that, there are women posting about all the things they’re doing *for* their husbands as part of it. I.e taking responsibility for that as well. Truly, utterly exhausting! Xx
Thank you for linking to my newsletter and ugh I feel the horror of trimester zero. I spent years in varying degrees of no booze, no nail varnish, no food in plastic, pre-pregnancy vitamins imported from America and more total madness that I, a rational, science-believing person, was prepared to do because I thought it would help. It’s only years on and with hindsight that I understand that none of it would have made a difference. It’s why, however apparently well intentioned, I rail against what I consider the massive grift of products - supplements, diets, exercise, advice, whatever - that promise to get your body in the optimum state for pregnancy. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Thanks for shining a light on this. X
I’m SO pleased that you do rail against the grift of it all. I couldn’t agree more. I feel a bit half-in half-out with ttc lifestyle stuff right now and your pregnancy skincare post was genuinely eye-opening - and reassuring. Xxxx
I don’t follow tiktok so when I first read the phrase I had rather a positive response, it seemed like a way for the difficulty of experiencing negative test after test to have a face if you will, the loss of a pregnancy in the zeroth trimester, rather than just the lack of a pregnancy.
Then I read your explanation of how it’s used and it’s of course awful, as if women need more guilt tripping when it comes to fertility and miscarriage…still now the phrase is out there, maybe it help people open up about what trimester zero is really like…so im going to remain hopeful it will be a positive in the long run…
Same here - I tend to read about TikTok trends via newspapers, which makes me feel ancient! I hadn’t thought of that as an alternative use of the phrase, but I completely get you. We don’t really have good words for that phase and I agree it’s its own kind of loss. And truly it can be such a lonely thing to go through.
And yeah, maybe it will be positive in the long run - I did find the openness around pregnancy prep from some posters quite refreshing. I don’t know that there was any equivalent when I was first ttc. Xx