Linkativity!

A bumper recommendations list – and a catch up

On Sunday, it’ll be two months since my book came out. Which seems an impossibly long time – and also no time at all. While you’ll never hear me describe my book as a baby or use any kind of birthing metaphors to describe the publishing process (because: fertility privilege) there is, I concede, a parallel with how both can make time feel.  

I’m going to take the next month or so off to let my brain breathe a little, to let my life fill back up with things that aren’t work and social media self-promotion, and then perhaps start in earnest on The Next Book.  (Paying subscribers, billing will be paused).

But before I go, here’s a bumper Easter-bunny list of things I’ve been doing and thinking about…

P.S This is the second time in a month that I’ve headlined a newsletter with a very un-zeitgeisty TV reference, that are basically in-jokes for my husband. I can only apologise. (Though if you enjoyed them too, I have a feeling we’d be friends.)

---

In the news…

Good News #1 the charity Tommy’s has received funding to road-test a new model for miscarriage care that would mean people are offered support and testing sooner than the current ‘wait until you’ve had three losses in a row’.

Good News #2 Scotland to offer miscarriage certificates to recognise pregnancy losses if people would like them.  

Less encouragingly, a second reading of the proposed UK Miscarriage Leave Bill didn’t go ahead, as it ran out of debating time. If passed, this Bill would grant a statutory right to three days of paid leave for both parents in the event of a miscarriage before 24 weeks of pregnancy. It’s been re-scheduled for 24^th November.

Scientists have used gene editing tech to create mice with two biological fathers, after successfully making egg cells (oocytes) from male skin cells.

Some NHS maternity units suspended the use of gas and air due to safety concerns for staff. This is a good, balanced summary of the story.

A Texas judge has heard legal arguments to get the medication mifepristone withdrawn from the market. (In almost all the reporting of this frankly terrifying story, mifepristone is described as an ‘abortion pill’, but of course it is also given as a treatment after missed miscarriages and in induced labour. I tweeted about this in more detail here. There is also an entire chapter in my book about the many ways the reproductive rights of all women are deeply entwined).      

---

Things I’ve written/said/done….

Rhiannon Cosslett interviewed me and wrote about Life, Almost – and parenting after pregnancy loss – in her Guardian column. It’s always a bit strange being written about rather than writing something myself, but reading her incredibly generous words gave me that rare feeling of being understood completely.    

I had a brilliant conversation with Erin Iwanusa –

The Miscarriage Therapist

– for her podcast. You can listen here.  

I wrote about the potential longer-term health consequences of repeat miscarriages and why doctors need to be asking women about their reproductive history when it comes to later life screening for things like heart disease. (This link comes with a stonkingly massive, blaring, flashing siren of a content warning, because it is potentially frightening and difficult to know what to do with this kind of information, on top of the pain of pregnancy loss itself. If your loss is very recent, or your grief is feeling particularly heavy, or you have any kind of health anxiety, perhaps skip this one for now.)

For Penguin, I wrote this essay on how Mother’s Day feels after miscarriage.

I was interviewed for the Tea With The Changemakers podcast. (I quite enjoyed being described as a ‘changemaker’, I have to say…)

I was also on the CRADLE podcast – CRADLE is an early pregnancy loss charity, working within the NHS providing support and care packages for those who’ve just had a miscarriage. (You can donate here).

And I had a piece in this month’s Red magazine on the ambiguous grief of early pregnancy loss.  I don’t think it’s online, but I thought I’d mention it in case you needed an extra excuse to buy this reliably gorgeous magazine.

---

Reading/watching/listening….

The Year Of The Cat by Rhiannon Cosslett – a book that has been missing, I think, about making your mind up about motherhood and the unique loneliness of knowing you want a baby, but aren’t sure if you can or should have one. Plus: cats.

Adrift by Miranda Ward. An exceptionally brilliant book. The kind of writing I envy for its precision. It’s also that rare thing – a memoir about infertility that does not end with a positive pregnancy test.

The Hero Of This Book by Elizabeth McCracken. Is it a novel? Is it a memoir? Is it auto-fiction? Yes, no, maybe. Whatever it is, it’s very readable; succinct and sharp. It’s set across a single day, following a bereaved woman writer visiting London, though it’s less about grief and more a fascinating portrait of her late mother, a character who will stay with me a long time.  

I also raced through Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus and it absolutely lives up to the hype. Read it before it’s on the telly later this year. (Sidenote: Its fabulous cover is designed by Beci Kelly, who also designed my book’s cover).  

Daisy Jones & The Six on TV. Unapologetically obsessed. I watched the first drop of episodes twice while waiting for the new ones. It made me buy a wafty dress. It also led me to this 70s Sadgirl playlist.  

Are you OK or are you an eldest daughter?

I learnt what ‘fridging’ is (clue: it’s a misogynistic trope, not a sex act).

This, from fellow substacker Jade

The Bardo

, on the pressure to conceive ‘perfectly’.

Do we need to broaden our definition of a ‘rainbow’ after pregnancy loss?

Katherine Ormerod on her experience of TFMR (Check out her substack

Every Shade of Grey

).

From gentler IVF to drugs to improve implantation, is this the future of fertility medicine? (I know these kinds of pieces can be tricky, when you’re in the thick of trying to conceive, knowing any innovations won’t necessarily come in time to help you, personally, but I found this an interesting – and accessible – round-up of potential breakthroughs and avenues scientists are exploring).

Curtis Sittenfeld on the under-recognised genius of Dirty Dancing.

The inimitable, Oscar-winning costume designer Jenny Beavan’s Desert Island Discs.

---

Coming up….

Later this month, I’m doing an Instagram Live with fellow author Joanna Wolfarth, whose brilliant book Milk: An Intimate History Of Breastfeeding was published a couple of weeks before Life, Almost. We’re loosely calling it ‘She thinks she's the first woman to…’ as we’re going to talk about the patronising and often dismissive responses to women sharing their reproductive experiences. Join us on Wednesday April 26^th @ 8pm

---

Other joys…

Daffodils. Edward coming third in the nursery Easter bonnet competition (which we all know is really a victory that belongs to ME). Doing a long overdue wardrobe clear-out. This excellent brown eyeliner. Tortellini soup (specifically this recipe of Ella Risbridger’s). Planting seeds: tomatoes, chilli, basil, and cosmos so far. Spring sunshine – at last!